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The Bawk-ness Monster by Natalie Riess and Sara Goetter
A few years ago, Penny fell into Lake Bockamixon. She didn’t know how to swim and was so scared but she was saved by the Bawk-ness Monster, a half sea serpent, half chicken cryptid. It’s difficult to believe, but her friend Luc, who she’s telling this to, wants to know why Penny is bringing it up now. Well, Penny is moving away and wants to thank the Bawk-ness Monster for saving her and wants their help. Cue big puppy dog eyes beaming emotional guilt and years of friendship. Sure… okay…
A week later, Penny and Luc are at the local library researching the Bawk-ness Monster. They don’t find anything until Kaylee, or K, a VERY intense Bawk-ness Monster believer and junior cryptozoologist, VERY seriously offers to help. With the three of them working together, they’re sure to find Bessie! But first, they need to turn K’s research into informational pamphlets.
Meanwhile, Penny’s mom is trying to get everything sorted and ready for the move to start her new job next month. Penny’s mom asks what they should do this weekend, and Penny asks to go camping. Great idea, they can set up in the backyard! No Penny’s mom, at Lake Bockamixon. Yikes! Penny’s mom is clearly nervous about camping at Lake Bockamixon. Oh, and Penny wants to bring some friends.
That weekend, Luc and K pile into the back of Penny’s mom’s car. It’s a tight squeeze. They start to go over their plan, Operation: Find Bessie! written in great bubble letters with good sticker choices.
Go to Lake Bockamixon
Ditch mom
Go to the lake
Use K’s “secret weapon”
Find and thank Bessie
Come back before mom notices
It’s a good plan, however, Penny’s mom has a ground rule: they are never leaving her sight so what happened last time doesn’t happen again. Dang it.
Lake Bockamixon is beautiful. As they unpack the car, Luc tries to see how rhetorical the ground rule is, and frankly Mrs. Winters is freaking scary in her intensity and absolute conviction in it. They’re going to need a new plan, so it’s a good thing that Penny brought extra stickers. Operation: Ditch Mom!!
Distraction
Disguise
Bargain
And… none of it works. Clearly Mrs. Winters is too powerful.
After Luc puts up their tent without instructions, they put up a lot of tents in girl scouts, they take stock of their Bessie supplies while enjoying a juice box. K has brought her “secret weapon” and Bessie ‘zines, Luc has very practical ex-girl scout supplies, and Penny has friendship bracelets. THESE ARE THE GREATEST!
Penny’s mom asks what they’re withering about, but they don’t answer and instead just look shifty. She tells them that if they want to go hiking by the lake it’s fine because she’ll come with them, but first, she needs to get her fanny pack. Once they are loaded with all the supplies they would ever need ever, plus K’s self-published research on the local wildlife called Bessie 101 which is very enlightening, they set off.
It’s not the most relaxing walk in the wilderness as Penny’s mom is overprotective of her charges. She “saves” K from watching a harmless snake for science, Luc from a fall from a 6” high rock and Penny from standing perfectly safe and still. So it turns into a nice hike/carry through the wilderness. Finally they reach the lake and the perfect Bessie spot which is where K’s secret weapon comes into play, a Bessie costume!
Luc, as the butt, is unimpressed, Penny, the stomach, is enthralled, and K, the head, uses a kazoo to call to Bessie. HONK! VWONK! VWOOONK! HONK! Yeah, this is not great and tension is high in the suit, they must remember the friendship bracelets. Meanwhile, Mrs. Winters is on the shore taking photos and videos of the kids' hijinks. Suddenly though they all stop when a load “BWECK?” comes from the actual Bessie. Penny wades out to Bessie, but her mom quickly comes charging into the lake, screaming for the kids to get away from that thing. Suddenly a submarine surfaces and fires a net over Bessie. As the submarine drags Bessie into its hold, Penny, Luc and K in their Bessie suit are also caught in the drag.
Three years ago It’s dark and the full moon is out at Lake Bockamixon. Penny is standing on a jetty with three other Girl Scouts, but these girls are bullying her. One, Lucy, pushes Penny and she goes into the water. Penny can’t swim, but Lucy runs to get help, not caring that she’s going to get into trouble.
Smash cut back to now. Penny, Luc and K are still in the Bessie suit and can hear voices. They sound very pleased to have caught Bessie and a juvenile. Penny emerges from the suit demanding to know what they did to Bessie. Argh! Children! Net them! Once netted, the trio are put into a storage closet to deal with later. While Luc tries to break out of the closet, K investigates and finds a T-shirt that tells them exactly where they are… the secret HQ of Alvida Scales, leader of the Cryptid pet trade! GASP!!
Alvida is ruthless and cruel and Bessie is in danger. So, yeah, Luc is done. It’s all too much and too scary and too real. Penny hugs Luc and apologizes, she dragged them into this and now her mom is missing too. They feel better for venting, and speaking of vents, K has spotted one. Luc pulls a multi-tool from their bag and takes the vent cover off, K, three-time winner of smallest person in class, will climb through and open the door. As K is going through the vent she overhears two henchmen talking about the fake suit and it being another “wolfman” situation. Anywho, she opens the door and frees her friends, and now they’ve got to focus and find Bessie and Penny's mom. Penny saw her mom get caught up in the net so she’s sure she’s with Bessie and they’ll keep each other safe.
Mrs. Winters wakes up on something soft and floating… she’s on Bessie’s back! BAWK? EEEP! Okay… cool… Bessie is real. Mrs. Winters, Ronnie, introduces herself to Bessie. Ronnie thanks Bessie for saving Penny’s life three years ago and apologizes for not believing Penny’s story. Together, they try to work out how to get out of the giant fish tank they’re currently trapped in.
Penny, Luc and K have been making their way through the evil HQ which is situated under the lake and suffering from a few leaks. That’s not ideal. One of the leaks is in the creature lobby, and that could be where Bessie and Penny’s mom are. K is very excited that there might be other cryptids. The trio continue to explore the HQ finding the kitchen, an office and employee of the month board, but no creature lobby. K’s investigation senses go wild at the Asset Room with its big heavy door and big heavy lock but luckily Luc is there with a multi-tool to the rescue! This is good because someone is coming and they’d best duck into the Asset Room and hide.
The room is dark but Luc finds the lightswitch. What they see, however, is horrible. There are rows and rows of cages. In one is a Bigtaur! Luc doesn’t want to let it out despite K begging because it’s not automatically going to be their friend. K’s T-shirt would beg to differ… it says BIGTAUR IS REAL AND MY FRIEND. The cages are filled with cryptids and they don’t look well. They can’t leave them here, but they have to get Bessie and Penny’s mom.
Okay, time to be realistic. Luc pulls out a secret evil HQ map. Operation: Release the Cryptids!!!!!! Steps include: Release the Cryptids, sneak through the main lobby to the “Bawk-ness Monster Containment Room”, find Bessie, assume Penny’s mom is with her, grab a submarine. Easy peasy! They carry out step one, releasing Bigtaur, Yeticorn, puddle creature, long frog, Rhode Island devil, the stuff, wolfman, and A REVERSE MERMAID ((!!!)) and it turns out Bigtaur also likes juice boxes. They also find a real baby Bessie. Time for phase two.
The friends and the cryptids sneak out the Asset Room. There is only one guard at Bessie’s containment room and Bigtaur starts cracking their knuckles, but Penny doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. Luc pulls a terrible old man costume from their bag for the three friends to disguise themselves with and a second one for all the cryptids. Time to do a “water inspection” WINK.
Suddenly, with huffing and puffing, Alvida Scales appears, but she thinks, Hang on a second… you look different from the last inspector… but the colleague looks familiar… but where from… (Bigtaur is looking red faced and angry under the fake glasses, fake big nose and fake mustache). Alvida Scales dismisses him as having one of those faces, and they start the inspection. Alvida Scales takes them on a tour but doesn’t answer any questions and gets nervous about a door to a normal boring storage closet, honest! Unfortunately their cover is blown when Alvida Scales pulls on their long trench coat revealing children asking questions and orders the guards to get them.
Alvida Scales turns on the second inspector and is shocked to see its Bigtaur. Bigtaur hands Penny Baby Bessie, gives her a knowing nod which sends Penny and Luc running to find Bessie and Penny’s mom while K stays behind to help the cryptids. As they’re running down a hall, a guard nabs Luc in a net. Baby Bessie head butts the guard, but there is a second guard holding the net down, so Luc tells Penny to go on, they’re prepared for anything.
Penny and Baby Bessie reach a big heavy door with a big heavy hatch wheel which they manage to open. Inside the room are rows of water tanks and Penny and Baby Bessie spot their moms at the same time their moms spot them. As Ronnie is trying to ask her daughter questions and find out what the heck is going on and what do you mean there is a Bigtaur?!, Penny is running around preparing to help her mom and Bessie escape through a channel that leads straight to the submarines.
The channel is opened and Penny and Baby Bessie are reunited with their moms in the submarine room. Suddenly there are bangs on the wall and the cryptids tear through the bulkhead with Luc and K who have the submarine keys. This is honestly getting to be a bit much for Ronnie and she calls a time out. She’s been locked up with a giant bird fish for hours and she needs to know what is going on. Fine, they’ll explain while they steal a submarine, but no, Ronnie wants to find an adult to talk to. Suddenly, Alvida Scales appears!
Alvida Scales is not looking composed. Ronnie tries to talk to her while Luc and K get the cryptids into the submarine. When they’re ready to go, they’re stuck because they need Penny’s mom to drive. Wait. That’s not true. Bigtaur has a driver's license. ((The panels of Bigtaur trying to sit in the driver's seat are so funny!)) Okay, it’s time to get Penny and her mom because they’ve got to go!
Alvida Scales orders her underpaid goons to catch those horrible submarine stealing kids and her merchandise. Penny shouts for them to just go so Bigtaur presses the SUB GO FAST button and the submarine takes off with Bessie swimming by its side dodging the underpaid goons and their nets. They get away and Alvida Scales turns her anger on Penny and her mom. Alvida Scales tells them she can’t let them leave now as she pulls out a Net Launcher 3000.
Meanwhile in the submarine, Luc is arguing that they should go back for Penny and her mom and that K cares more about the cryptids. It’s not that… Penny trusts them to save Bessie and the other cryptids, and K trusts that Penny and her mom will be okay. Suddenly the radar goes off… something is following them. Before Bigtaur can use evasive maneuvers, a harpoon is fired into the hull. Bigtaur presses the SUB GO UP button instead.
On the surface, a big red and white boat has them hooked. It’s Alvida Scales and she wants to do business with the children. Luc and K will never do business with the likes of her, however Penny and her mom being caught in a net is a compelling incentive. Alvida Scales starts to get a bit INTENSE at this point. She will have the Bawk-ness Monster! Luc and K ask for a moment, and back in the submarine, they come up with a new plan.
In the net, Penny tells her mom this is all her fault, if she’d trusted Penny and not stayed to talk to Alvida Scales they would all be gone and safe. Ronnie admits to having been scared this whole time of Lake Bockamixon because of what happened three years ago. She says she didn’t really want to steal someone’s submarine even if they are bad. Now they’re together though, they can work as a team. Meanwhile, Alvida Scales has spotted Bessie and her underpaid goons are pulling her up in their net.
It’s clearly the Bessie costume from earlier, Penny and her mom can see that and are sniggering behind Alvida Scales but Alvida Scales isn’t very clever, she only shouts out that they are missing the little one. It’s time for Operation: Stop Alvida!! Step one, disguised as Bessie, fool Alvida. (Children?! Cryptids?! AGAIN?! Alvida is really easy to fool.) Step two, Fight off Alvida and her lackeys. The cryptids attack while step three, free Penny and her mom, is carried out by Yeticorn. Step four, get rid of Alvida, is simple enough; on behalf of the entire cryptozoology community, K chucks her into the water.
THAT WAS AMAZING! Even Ronnie says the kids did well. The boat starts to rumble which can’t be a good thing. It’s not! The bird head decoration on the top gleams and suddenly the neck extends before pecking into the water and plucking Alvida Scales in its beak. WHAT? It’s time for Alvida Scales to get serious and unfortunately Luc did not prepare to fight a robot monster boat. Penny spots a very angry Bessie heading for them and is ready to face off.
Bessie and the robot monster boat start headbutting each other which is not safe for Penny and the gang. Ronnie orders the kids to get the cryptids to safety because she has an adult she needs to talk to. Ronnie heads off when Penny, Luc and K hear Baby Bessie chirping from the water. As they’re looking down, Bessie slams into the boat, sending the trio overboard. Baby Bessie saves them because they have something important to show them.
Meanwhile, Ronnie has made it onto the bridge. Thankfully there is a convenient platform with a button marked PLATFORM GOES UP next to it. At the top, Alvida Scales is manically controlling the bird head’s attack. Ronnie just wants to talk and says she can forgive a lot of crazy things that have happened on the trip but she can’t forgive putting her kid in danger. Alvida Scales is dismissive, she doesn’t care about the children, about anyone’s safety, she only cares about getting her “property” back, and she reaches for a net gun. Conveniently. Bessie hits the boat and it sends the net gun flying straight into Ronnie’s lap. Now the tables have turned and Alvida Scales is willing to talk. Yeah no. NET!
On the submarine, Penny, her friends, and the cryptids are ready with a new plan. Now back on the boat, the giant waterfall Baby Bessie pointed out is getting closer and closer. Abandon ship! Luckily Bessie is there to catch Penny and her mom while Luc and K are with the other cryptids. Everyone meets up on shore, except Bigtaur isn’t there! Bigtaur was driving the submarine! The submarine that’s just gone over a giant waterfall! It’s okay… Bigtaur turns up in full scuba gear flashing their scuba diving certification card. Okay, then.
Finally Penny is able to say thank you to Bessie. Luc shows Bessie a map of Lake Bockamixon and its many streams, pointing out that Bessie and Baby Bessie should go off anywhere as the lake is no longer safe. Meanwhile, K’s camera isn’t waterproof so she can’t get a picture of Bigtaur, regardless though, she’s happy they became friends. When she asks Bigtaur if they will meet again, it responds “no” and walks into the woods, not looking behind. Oh my goodness, K can’t wait to update the cryptids wiki about this!
It’s getting late and it’s time to say goodbye to their cryptid friends. Also, no one still wants to camp. It’s time to head home, but they’ll stop at a Smo’s Place Diner on the way. It’s starting to hit Penny that she’s moving. She’d like to come back to Lake Bockamixon with Luc and K and Luc reassures Penny they will keep in touch. The trio turn into a big pile of tears and hugs when Penny says she’s worried they will forget her. How could they after the adventure they’ve just had?! With everything they’ve been through, you don’t just stop being friends, that’s what the friendship bracelets are for!
In the car, Luc and K fall asleep, so Ronnie asks Penny how she feels about the move. Penny was able to thank Bessie, which was her goal for the weekend, but she is going to miss everyone. She thinks their new home will be good for them.
A little while later. Penny is playing with her cat when she gets mail! Inside is Creature Monthly with Bessie: The inside scoop, stickers, buttons, and a letter each from Luc and K. Penny sends her own letter back, complete with stickers, a picture of her and her grumpy cat, Kitty. She can’t wait to see them in the summer.