Changeless by Gail Carriger
Lady Alexia Maccon wakes early one evening, not due to her large, handsome werewolf husband's amorousness, they already attended to that for the time being, but due to his yelling. Alexia is confused at first, not understanding why he is yelling at her, but then she realizes he is speaking to a ghost, Formerly Merriway. Alexia can't quite hear what the ghost is saying, what with her mumblings, and her husband's half answers are getting her nowhere. It sounds like something or maybe someone has disappeared and Conall, as part of the Bureau of Unnatural Registry, has to go check it out.
Alexia’s very French maid helps her dress and she goes outside, preparing to depart for her meeting with the Shadow Council as Muhjah, but she stops when she sees many, many tents being put up on her front lawn. This can't be, they're having a dinner party in a few days! Alexia yells and Tunstell comes to her aid, explaining that the rest of the pack has returned from war and it is customary for all of them to stay together for a short period of time afterward, and they do so on the lawn. She yells for them to move around to the back of the estate, but a very pompous, very blond man approaches.
Major Channing Channing of the Chesterfield Channings has no idea who Alexia is, and, thinking she's a maid, begins treating her poorly and also flirtatiously. Alexia lets the ruse go on a little too long and angers Channing Channing of the Chesterfield Channings enough that he attempts to slap her. Luckily Tunstell steps in and takes a hit, which is no good because he's just a claviger and won't heal quickly, but then Channing Channing of the Chesterfield Channings transforms into a handsome white wolf. Thankfully Lyall, Woolsey pack Beta, arrives then, forcing Channing Channing of the Chesterfield Channings, the pack’s Gamma, to back down. Returning to human form, Lyall introduces Channing Channing of the Chesterfield Channings to Alexia, and learning that she is the wife of his alpha, he is semi-appropriately mollified.
While the pack begins to move all the tents to the back as per Alexia's request, she again attempts to leave the estate, however, she is then approached by her very best friend, Ivy Hisselpenny, in a very fruity hat. Alexia tries to tell her friend they must catch up later because she is late for a meeting, but Ivy simply must tell Alexia the latest gossip! Ivy is engaged! She will be marrying Captain Featherstonehaugh, but she seems more concerned about the party to be had than the actual groom. She also frets quite a bit over Tunstell, who is still bleeding from being struck by Channing Channing of the Chesterfield Channings. Alexia tries again to leave and suggests Tunstell put Ivy in a coach to which Ivy then swoons and laments… about Tunstell, probably.
Lord Maccon is running to London in his wolf form to investigate the news from Formerly Merriway, that there has been a massive unsupernaturaling. It seems what the ghost said was true, as one moment he is a handsome wolf and the next he is a handsome man. A handsome naked man. He tries shifting to his Anubis form but is unable to until he reaches a certain point. It seems, in this present region in the city, he is shockingly human. Lord Maccon wanders around nakedly until he encounters Biffy, Lord Akeldama‘s very best drone, who of course helps him by retrieving a cloak for him to cover his more delicate bits. It's a shame to clothe a sexy naked man, though.
In London, Alexia meets with the Shadow Council, who are, after a bit of investigation, determined to be quite human. The Potentate asks how Alexia is feeling and if she is having stomach ailments, which is interesting, but she assures him she is feeling fine. The Dewan thinks Alexia is responsible for the sudden unsupernaturaling because she is the only preternatural they know of and preternaturals are the only ones who can make a supernatural unsupernatural. Impossible! Who could be then? And why? Well, there is something “worse” than a preternatural, but they don't say what it is. Alexia, knowing she is not responsible, wonders if some kind of weapon is involved. The Hippocras Club was just disbanded after all…
Back home, Alexia tries to research in her father's library about the mass unsupernaturaling and whatever is worse than preternatural, but comes up empty. Soon enough, Lord Maccon returns home and they become amorous, though she still tries to question him about what's going on. They get busy instead of conversing, but that only lasts so long, drat, and then Conall tells Alexia of the Godbreaker Plague in Egypt a long time ago. Alexia again thinks that what is happening now could be the result of a weapon. She questions her husband about the thing worse than a preternatural and he mentions something that is not hindered by daylight or darkness and calls it a skin stealer. They are amorous again without further discussion on this matter.
At dinner, Conall is absent and Channing Channing of the Chesterfield Channings is grumpy about him running off, especially because it is to deal with disturbances from his former pack who are currently without an Alpha due to that Alpha's death which is causing a ruckus. He didn't even get to tell him about the troubles they faced on their return home from war, the fact that they lost their powers and grew beards! Alexia chides Channing Channing of the Chesterfield Channings for being arrogant and stupid and for potentially putting them all in danger. She goes shopping with Ivy after this to a place that Formerly Merriway said Conall suggested she go. They visit Chapeau de Poupe, a very French hat shop run by the most beautiful woman Alexia has ever seen, even though she's dressed like a man and is decidedly French, Madame Lefoux. ((And Amanda swoons)) They are not in the shop long before Alexia notices secret doors and other hidden things all around, and then there is an explosion!
While Ivy is passed out ladylike on the floor from the surprise of the explosion, Alexia uses a concealed door to travel down to a hidden laboratory below the hat shop. It's quite amazing and has lots of machine parts in various stages of build and a wicker chicken. Alexia meets Quesnel Lefoux, Madame Lefoux‘s son presumably, though they look nothing alike, and Formerly Lefoux, Madame Lefoux‘s ghostly aunt. The explosion was young Quesnel doing science. After sending her son away to gather materials to clean up his mess, Madame Lefoux gives Alexia a gift requested from her husband. It is a parasol, which we all know Alexia loves, but this one is weaponized. It has poisons and perfumes and darts and acid, can disrupt mechanical devices, is able to withstand a wallop, and Alexia loves it, though it is rather ugly. Upon leaving, Alexia offers to introduce Madame Lefoux to Lord Akeldama and plans to visit him later. Ivy, who has woken from her faint, is left in Tunstell’s care, who has suddenly appeared with a message that Alexia needs to visit Lyall at the BUR office.
Lyall tells Alexia that whatever is causing the unsupernaturaling is moving toward Scotland where Conall is currently headed, but it will make it there before he does as he is traveling in wolf form and they suspect the weapon is traveling by carriage. He has sent a message that he hopes will arrive in time, but he wonders if Alexia should alert the Shadow Council. She decides not to just yet and instead goes to visit Lord Akeldama. He's delighted to see her of course and they chat about this potential weapon. He thinks it is one, too, and not the Godbreaker Plague again, and he probably knows because he's been around for hundreds of years. Alexia offers to introduce him to Madame Lefoux and he is very excited to make her acquaintance and sends her a card immediately by way of Biffy, who is adorable in his Biffyness.
While they discuss the moving unsupernaturaling, Alexia surmising that it is following her husband and therefore has to do with the dead alpha of the Kingair pack and that she must go to Scotland, Madame Lefoux arrives. Lord Akeldama shows them both his new aethographic transmitter which is very rare and very scientifically advanced. The Queen has two transmitters and BUR has one, but who knows who else. As they leave, Madame Lefoux questions whether Alexia should go alone to Scotland and she says she's taking Angelique, her maid, along with her.
Professor Lyall watches outside Akeldama's and sees two Westminster vampires lurking. He attacks them before they can get to the ladies, and they insist that they would have simply done a test that the ladies wouldn't even have noticed. They weren't planning on harming anyone! Lyall goes back home to learn that Alexia is going to Scotland by dirigible and insists that she take Tunstell as escort. Shortly thereafter, Alexia's mother, Mrs. Loontwill, arrives, insisting one of Alexia's sisters, Felicity, will be staying with her as her other sister, Evylin, has become engaged and the two will not stop fighting. Ivy comes over, too, and of course insists on going as well.
Before the dirigible departs, there is a delightful story in the newspaper describing everyone's outfits, but Alexia thinks they must look like a parade of pigeons. Madame Lefoux has also decided to take part on this journey, and she and Angelique have a quick, heated conversation in French that Alexia is unable to catch. Felicity is horrible to everyone, except Tunstell, who she flirts with just because she can, and to make Ivy flustered. She comments on Alexia’s weight and her propensity for reading. We all want to throw her overboard. Alexia catches another conversation between Madame Lefoux and Angelique and it definitely sounds like she is a spy and/or that something is going on between the two French women. Alexia plans to take notes, so she goes to her room for her journal.
Alexia cannot find her journal anywhere and it looks like someone had tampered with her dispatch case. Soon Ivy comes in, distraught, because Tunstell professed his love for her on the squeak deck and she, with a voice high with helium, said she might love him too. Ah, but she is engaged! At dinner, Alexia doesn't feel like eating which delights Felicity who thinks her sister is too heavy and should eat less. Alexia shares her plate with Tunstell who arrived late and missed the first course, and immediately after eating, he doubles over in pain. Poison? Professor Lyall, meanwhile, goes to see Lord Akeldama with a proposition.
Alexia forces Tunstell to vomit and luckily he seems to be fine enough, the poison not having had the time to take effect before he unceremoniously throws it up over the side of the dirigible. Alexia and Madame Lefoux go for a stroll then wherein Madame Lefoux mentions that she believes Alexia was meant to ingest the poison and Alexia mentions that Madame Lefoux could be responsible for the poisoning. They chat about Madame Lefoux being a better poisoner than that and then Alexia is hit from behind and knocked over the side of the dirigible. Luckily she gets caught on a metal protuberance a few floors down and doesn't fall to her death. She sees that Madame Lefoux is fighting with someone but she can't tell who. After dangling for quite some time with her undergarments exposed, a rope ladder is tossed down and Alexia climbs up to safety. Madame Lefoux takes her to her room and they are very very close together for some time when Alexia notices Madame Lefoux’s neck is bleeding. Alexia pulls away her cravat and sees Madame Lefoux has an octopus tattoo, and it looks exactly like all the octopuses she saw when she was kidnapped and held below the Hippocras Club. Uh oh.
Tunstell again professes his love to Ivy and Ivy comes to Alexia distraught. She doesn't know what she should do because she loves Tunstell as well, but he is only a lowly actor and Captain Featherstonehaugh is, well, a captain! Alexia convinces her friend to let Tunstell down and also chides Tunstell for his profession of love. Whilst Ivy is sobbing on Alexia's bed in an artful fashion, Alexia questions her about what happened the night before and Ivy admits to overhearing Madame Lefoux yelling at someone in French. Alexia later confronts Madame Lefoux about this and she admits she would never hurt Alexia and is not following her necessarily, but they need to go to the same place. She then tells Alexia that she is not the first preternatural she has met, but once met Alexia's father when he came to call upon her own father.
When they arrive in Scotland, they are greeted by Conall who caught his wife's scent as he approached Kingair land. Alexia is wobbly and shaky after landing but assures her husband that she is just not a good flyer and is not sick at all. She tells him that they came because Lyall believes the unsupernaturaling is traveling and has arrived in Scotland. Conall appreciates this, and the fact that Madame Lefoux has joined his wife. She can perhaps take a look at Kingair’s newly acquired aethographic transmitter. She is delighted to assist.
They are greeted, using the term loosely, outside of Kingair Castle by a woman, Conall's great great great granddaughter Sidheag. She's not pleased that her grandfather has arrived but lets them in anyway. Alexia takes care to hide her dispatch case in Ivy’s room, not sure that it will not be tampered with, and sends Angelique to Ivy to fix her hair. Alexia and Conall discuss why he came to Scotland, but don't really get anywhere. She also kind of describes falling off the dirigible. The only thing that we really know before going down to dinner is that none of the werewolves have been able to change. Alexia plans on investigating.
The dinner does not go well. It starts out fine but ends with Conall and the Kingair beta in a violent fight that destroys a meringue. Most of the Kingair pack don't like Conall because he abandoned them without a proper alpha able to turn Anubis and create more wolves. Conall confesses to Alexia later that his former pack, led by his old Beta, was planning to poison Queen Victoria. Conall was forced to kill his Beta and abandon the pack because he didn't believe he could trust any of them not to try again to kill the Queen, or maybe even him. Alexia wonders if they're not going to try again since they've got whatever the weapon is that makes supernaturals human.
At Lord Akeldama’s suggestion, Professor Lyall, Channing Channing of the Chesterfield Channings, a couple of other wolves and Biffy, Lord Akeldama ‘s very best drone, visit with Lord Ambrose, a member of the Westminster Hive and discover they are looking for some sort of Egyptian hieroglyphs that depict a broken ankh. Professor Lyall understands this to mean that the vampires are researching why the unsupernaturaling happened before in Egypt.
Alexia goes to find Madame Lefoux and the aethographic transmitter and helps her test her repairs by sending a message to Lord Akeldama about searching for spies. Later, she is nearly amorous with her husband and then they go to breakfast wherein they eat a lot of food until, that is, Alexia spots a cockroach. Conall goes to squish it but notices it might not be a cockroach at all. Some other kind of bug perhaps? Sidheag calls for a claviger to find an exterminator.
Later, the group discusses the werewolves having been stationed in India and Egypt as part of their military duties and talk turns to having a mummy unwrapping party which they plan to have as they brought some mummies back with them and mummy unwrapping parties are all the rage. Alexia overhears the gamma and beta of Kingair saying something along the lines of “destroy it all,” which can't be good, and then, on a walk outside, Madame Lefoux approaches Alexia saying something about the aethographic transmitter but then she is shot! Luckily she's still alive, but who would do that? And why?
Leaving Madame Lefoux's sick bed ministrations, Alexia talks with Sidheag. She learns that Sidheag has been acting as alpha female without actually being a werewolf since Niall, a lone wolf she brought home with her from Finishing School, became Alpha in Conall’s place. Sidheag has been leading the pack since Niall’s death and wants her grandfather to try to transform her but Conall, knowing it's very unlikely the last member of his family will survive the metamorphosis, refuses to try. It's not like he can do it right now anyway, what with the unsupernaturaling happening. Alexia and Sidheag plan to work together to stop the unsupernaturaling so maybe Alexia can convince Conall to try to change his great great great granddaughter into a werewolf.
They have the mummy unwrapping party that Conall isn't interested in, so he goes to watch over Madame Lefoux and allows Tunstell to enjoy the mummy party. For some reason, Alexia is absolutely repulsed by the mummy. Not disgusted, but literally repulsed, the scientific use of the word. She forces herself to get close to examine it and sees it has a symbol on it, a broken ankh, but doesn't know what that means. When they finish unwrapping the mummy and scarabs come out, Ivy and Felicity faint. One of the werewolves tends to Felicity and Tunstell rescues Ivy, which leads to them kissing passionately. Alexia abruptly leaves this scene when she hears her husband yell in pain.
Making it back to the room where Madame Lefoux is recovering and her husband is keeping guard, Alexia discovers that Conall was drugged with some sort of dart. She decides it's time to end the unsupernaturaling and dons her title of Muhjah. She goes to her room, messy from someone breaking in, gathers a gun hidden there by Conall, a sundowner weapon that can kill vampires and werewolves, and her letter from the Queen naming her Muhjah. She approaches Sidheag and asks to see all the Egyptian artifacts they have and sends a message to Lord Akeldama asking for advice using the aethographic transmitter. He responds that the bodies of preternaturals are always cremated and adds the broken ankh symbol. Huh?
Alexia begins her examination and has to see to the party mummy again and realizes the broken ankh symbol represents a preternatural. She comes to understand that her preternatural touch which makes the supernatural mortal is not limited by touch after death, making this mummy a preternatural, and a weapon, and shares this with Sidheag and her Gamma. Alexia bumps into Angelique who is right behind her for some reason, but the maid only questions why Alexia’s room is in disarray. Tunstell then comes to tell Alexia that Madame Lefoux has awakened, so she goes to speak with her, requesting that Sidheag and her Gamma keep their preternatural mummy revelations secret.
Along the way to see Madame Lefoux, Alexia has to step over many knocked out werewolves. After talking to Madame Lefoux for just a moment, she realizes who is responsible, and Madame Lefoux asks Alexia to go easy on her because she's only doing what the vampires want her to do. Alexia takes off, thinking Angelique, the culprit, will be heading for the mummy, but no, she's going to the aethographic transmitter instead to send information to the Westminster Hive. Alexia uses her parasol to interrupt the transmission and then chases Angelique back down to where the mummy is, finding Angelique carrying it away. Alexia tries to shoot Angelique with darts from her parasol, but Ivy, curious about the commotion, keeps getting in the way. Alexia catches up to Angelique and bashes her with the parasol, knocking her out. She then drags the mummy outside and melts it with acid concealed in her parasol. Lyall and Channing Channing of the Chesterfield Channings meanwhile are outside of the Westminster Hive waiting on Biffy who has temporarily disabled their aethographic transmitter.
Alexia goes back inside to find Ivy screaming. Angelique has woken from her wallop and is holding Ivy at knifepoint. Alexia, parasolless, and Tunstell, with the sundowner gun, chase after them. They catch them in a room, Angelique making Ivy open the window. Tunstell sneaks up on them and tackles Angelique, Ivy having fainted upon seeing who has come to her rescue. Unfortunately, Tunstell’s tackle sends Angelique out the window, not by the rope ladder she had secured there, but tumbling out to the ground below. The mummy dissolved, all the werewolves have awoken and have made their way to the room. Alexia goes outside to check on Angelique’s body and finds she has become a ghost.
Alexia questions Formerly Angelique and learns that Countess Nadasdy sent her after the unsupernaturaling weapon and used her as a spy, offering to try to change her into a vampire if she did as she said. Angelique says she never tried to kill Alexia and all the attacks were meant for Madame Lefoux, her lover, who was blackmailing her about her son, Quesnel. Madame Lefoux wanted Angelique to be a mother to her child, but Angelique would not claim him, knowing that Countess Nadasdy would never attempt to change her if she knew she had a son. After most of her questions are answered, though not one that hints something about Alexia and what she could carry and/or is carrying, Alexia exorcizes Formerly Angelique.
Alexia returns inside and to her husband and Madame Lefoux. After some arguing, she learns that Conall sent Madame Lefoux after her to keep her safe, but Madame Lefoux was the one who kept trying to steal her dispatch case. She wants to know the source of the unsupernaturaling weapon in order to maintain control over supernaturals. Imagine the weapons she could produce for BUR or for Alexia's parasol! Alexia tells Conall that Madame Lefoux is working with the Hippocras Club, but that is not the case, even though she has an octopus tattoo. She is a member of the OBO, the Order of the Brass Octopus, a secret group of scientists and inventors. Alexia does not trust Madame Lefoux even though she now knows of this secret organization and what she was up to. What Alexia does not learn is who tried to poison her on the dirigible and who stole her journal.
Alexia and Conall go to check on the aethographic transmitter to see if Angelique's message went through. It seems that it has, but she sends a message to Lord Akeldama who might've been keeping an eye on the Westminster Hive and learns that Lyall and Biffy temporarily damaged their transmitter, so all is well. Only Alexia and Conall, Sidheag and her Gamma, and maybe Lord Akeldama, Biffy and Lyall know that the preternatural mummy was the weapon. Conall plans to alert BUR that all soulless must be cremated upon their deaths, just in case, but without telling them why.
After visiting the transmitter, Sidheag alerts them that Ivy and Tunstell have escaped and eloped. Felicity received the message and was terrible about it, but everyone has kind of forgotten that Felicity is even there. Everything mostly wrapped up and preparing to head back home, Alexia then forces Conall to attempt to change Sidheag. He is successful but it requires biting her head nearly completely off in his Anubis form. Alexia, quite unlike herself, faints.
When she wakes, Alexia tries to explain away her weakened state to her husband and Madame Lefoux by saying she never fully recovered from the dirigible journey, but Madame Lefoux tells them she is pregnant. Alexia has been queasy and weak and has gained weight, and Madame Lefoux, having witnessed Angelique's pregnancy, believes this to be what is afflicting her. Unfortunately, Conall, believing himself to be undead when he is in contact with his wife, not just unsupernaturaled, therefore believing he is incapable of producing a child, comes to the conclusion that Alexia has been unfaithful, which is absolutely not true. He does not believe her and casts her aside. Madame Lefoux does believe her and now wants to study her, and they, along with Felicity, head back home.
Comments