Soulless by Gail Carriger
Miss Alexia Tarabotti, a spinster, alone in a library instead of attending a ball, about to enjoy a delicious treacle tart, is attacked by a vampire. As the vampire begins to bite down on the gentlelady's neck, he realizes that his fangs have disappeared! He backs off and his fangs return, so he tries again, which is simply not done. Alexia removes a wooden stick, or stake as it were, from her hair and pins it to the vampire’s chest. She explains to him that she is a preternatural, she has no soul and her touch temporarily drains the excess soul from supernatural creatures like vampires and werewolves, returning them to their human forms. He pretends to understand then tries to choke her, causing her to stumble back. She prepares to defend herself with her parasol, quite an ugly thing, and while doing so, pushes the stake into the vampire’s heart. A group of dandies arrive at the library then and cause a ruckus, so Alexia has no choice but to feign a faint.
Lord Maccon, an agent of BUR (the Bureau of Unnatural Registry) and Alpha werewolf of the Woolsey pack, along with his Beta, Professor Lyall, come to investigate the murder of the vampire. Lord Maccon seems perturbed by Alexia’s presence and she knows it's because of the Hedgehog Incident, but readers will instantly pick up on something more flirtatious than a hedgehog. They examine the body and determine, with Alexia’s assistance, that the vampire was recently metamorphosed by a Vampire Queen outside of BUR regulations, not trained in hive etiquette, and potentially starved and unleashed on purpose. Alexia wonders why she can't work for BUR as she would be a great asset, but Lord Maccon tells her it's because she's a noblewoman. What would her mother say if she got a job?! The two werewolves leave, one wondering why such a lovely lady is not yet married.
After breakfast with her mother, Mrs. Loontwill, half-sisters, Felicity and Evylin, and stepfather, Squire Loontwill, wherein her sisters discuss the events of the night before, including but not limited to murder, Alexia leaves the table to enjoy a walk in the park. Alexia is a bit more serious than her younger sisters. They were curious about everyone's dresses at the ball and that Alexia spoke to Lord Maccon, the Earl of Woolsey, but not really about the murder. They're also put off by the fact that a new gentlemen's club for scientists, the Hypocras Club, is opening next door to the house where the ball was held, but Alexia is curious about the whole thing. Alexia’s mother has thought more than once if it wouldn't have been easier had Alexia been born male instead of female what with her curiosity and swarthy features and that nose. Why oh why was her first husband, her late husband, Italian?
Alexia’s walk through Hyde Park is not alone but with her best friend and eccentric hat lover Ivy Hisselpenny. The two walk and talk about the ball, the vampire attack with its parasol bonking and the accidental murder, and Lord Maccon. They watch a dirigible land, which Alexia is enthralled by, and then are greeted by a woman, Mabel Dair, the actress, who invites Alexia to meet with Countess Nadasdy, the Westminster vampire hive queen. Uh oh, it's not typical for non-supernatural people to be invited to visit with a vampire queen. They either want to recruit her as a drone or drain her dry. Alexia puts off the invitation until the next night. Tonight, she must meet with her friend and rove vampire, Lord Akeldama, one of the very best vampires ever in existence.
At her house later, completely empty apart from Floote the Butler, Alexia has a delightful dinner with Lord Akeldama that is full of italics. He wants to keep Alexia safe and keep their conversation secret, so he employs a very scientific tuning fork to conceal their chat from any supernaturally listening ears that might be trying to eavesdrop. Alexia comes to learn that he, a vampire greater than 400 years old, has no idea what is going on and why anyone would want to kill her or why Countess Nadasdy wants to see her. He sexily suggests that Alexia meet with Lord Maccon and see if he knows anything, using her feminine wiles, because surely BUR has some idea of what is going on.
Alexia goes to see Lord Maccon and the flirtation between them is very clear to anyone who has ever met either of them and probably to everyone reading the book. She learns that vampires have a scent detectable by werewolves and that the vampire who attacked her was made by someone from the Westminster Hive, but only vampire queens are able to change people. It's possible that a vampire bite-daughter could be responsible, but unlikely. It's a good thing Alexia has agreed to visit with Countess Nadasdy so she can find out what's going on. Lord Maccon doesn't want her to go to the meeting because it's dangerous since she is soulless, and according to some vampires, their natural balance, which isn't a good thing. He insists on taking her home, and she requests that he drop her off far away from her house because her mother does not know of her interest in these goings on. Lord Maccon agrees because he does not want to damage her reputation. Pah! She's a spinster, so there won't be any damage to her reputation, more likely it would damage his. He wonders why he is bothered so much by this woman he doesn't even like, but is that true?
Professor Lyall is out investigating Queens and Roves at other BUR offices and discovers at the Canterbury office that there are no roves as they've all gone missing. Then he learns that there are no lone wolves either, for the same reason. There is only one lone wolf left and he gives this information to Lyall, thinking that Lord Maccon had arranged for all the lone wolves to be killed off so as not to be a problem. That is not the case.
Alexia takes a cab to the Westminster Hive and is greeted by one very French maid (Angelique), a drone (Mabel Dair), and several vampires (Countess Nadasdy, Lord Ambrose, Dr. Caedes and the Duke of Hematol). The Countess grabs Alexia and turns human, much to the disgust of the other vampires who think Alexia, as a preternatural, is a threat, but the Countess isn't worried. She is however afraid of and curious about what is happening with the random starving roves showing up. She longs for a way to metamorphose vampires without the bite of a queen since it doesn't always work, but despite all the scientific advancements she is surrounded by even in her own home, she is unaware of such a possibility so has no idea what's going on either.
When Alexia leaves, getting back into her own cab, she's surprised to find a stranger already inside, a waxen man with an odd smell and VIXI on his forehead. He attacks her with a chloroformed handkerchief and she screams and kicks, and soon a growl comes from outside followed by a thud. Alexia falls from the carriage and onto Lord Maccon who was obviously waiting in the shadows to keep her safe if she should encounter any trouble. Well, she did, but now the weird man has vanished. Alexia is confused about how Lord Maccon attacked someone and immediately redressed himself, not having seen a transformation outside of books but knowing it's difficult and done nakedly. He shows her his Anubis form, something that Alphas and very old werewolves can do, just transforming their heads. She transforms him back with a touch, and they walk along the street together looking for another cab. He insists on keeping her safe and guarded, but the full moon is coming soon and he won't be able to watch over her. When he gets jealous of her suggestion that she can stay with Lord Akeldama and she calls him out on it, he abruptly kisses her.
Their kiss lingers for quite some time and deepens considerably into posterior squeezing and neck biting in public. Unfortunately it is interrupted by Professor Lyall who has tracked his Alpha down to alert him to what he discovered in Canterbury, all the lone wolves have disappeared. Alexia mentions the same thing of the roves. Lord Maccon deduces that someone wants them and Alexia dead, so he insists on keeping his watch over her. When she wakes the next morning, Professor Lyall is outside keeping watch instead, but only so Lord Maccon could go get some rest. Ivy comes to call and Alexia tells her best friend all about the kissing, which she finds curious as they don't seem to like each other at all.
That sentiment follows at a dinner party later. Lord Maccon and Alexia are both in attendance and purposefully and shamelessly avoiding one another. Alexia assumes this is because Lord Maccon is giving her an out, but she seems to want to be more involved with him, not less. Ah well, she is a spinster after all, she should be used to this life. An American Scientist, Mr. MacDougall, pulls her into a conversation about weighing souls and how doing so would improve metamorphosis prospects. He seems to not know about her soullessness at all. He mentions the Hypocras Club and calling on her again later to continue chatting, but Alexia is more interested in the young woman flirting with Lord Maccon. Later, Lord Maccon grumbles to Professor Lyall about Alexia ignoring him, after all, he made the first move and now it's up to her to follow up, but Professor Lyall reminds Lord Maccon that yes, that is what is supposed to happen with alpha werewolves and alpha females, Alexia is not a werewolf and therefore Lord Maccon must apologize and grovel to win her back.
Alexia goes on an outing with the American Scientist and he seems rather pleased with Alexia's interest and ability to converse scientifically about the soul. His brother was turned in the Colonies against his will and his family immediately disowned him, being too religious and thinking anyone metamorphosed to be Undead and thus in league with the devil. Mr. MacDougall wants to be able to measure the amount of soul one has before they are metamorphosed to ensure the change will occur, meaning fewer people will die from the attempt. Unfortunately, no one knows how to measure the soul. While he blathers on, Alexia notices they are being followed by Professor Lyall who “accidentally” knocks into a man who is carrying something that Alexia cannot make out. She asks Lyall about it later, after Mr. MacDougall drops her at home, and he is very wary what with the full moon coming soon. He does not say what the man he knocked into had with him, but it was a syringe.
Lord Maccon is waiting for Alexia in her parlor. Professor Lyall hopes he will grovel appropriately. He does. After a bit of back and forth, about why he behaved as he did at the dinner party, Alexia apologizes for not being well-learned in the art of kissing, she is a 26 year old Italian spinster after all, and not very pretty, but Lord Maccon assures her that he likes Italians and thinks normal girls are boring. The groveling begins and he apologizes for it being close to the full moon and that he was not in control of himself. Alexia decides to take matters into her own hands here and wriggles on his lap, causing a delightful enlargening in the nether region of Lord Maccon, called Connal now, because obviously they have moved past formalities.
Unfortunately, Ivy and Professor Lyall arrive then, knocking on the parlor door, Ivy to see her friend, Professor Lyall to share whispered news. Unfortunately, the news means Connal must leave at once. Alexia questions Professor Lyall about what exactly is going on with his Alpha, romantically, not supernaturally, and he informs her of the Bitch’s Dance, meaning she must pursue him, as, in the werewolf world, the women choose their mates, not the other way around as is standard in the modern British society. That will not end well if he does not accept her advances, so she mentions being fine with her current life and her books. An agent of BUR arrives then to relieve Professor Lyall and lets them know that vampires will take over the watch after sundown. Lord Maccon will not let whatever whispered news stop from keeping her safe.
Alexia's family, who were out shopping, return home with lots of fashionable accessories including luxurious gloves and aluminum jewelry. Alexia’s half-sisters and her mother will be attending many events and, after Alexia is rude to her mother, purposefully, she is not permitted to attend. This is what she wanted to happen and she makes plans to meet with Lord Akeldama instead. Later that night, Alexia awakens when she hears a fight in the alley outside her window. She sees a vampire fighting with the waxen man with VIXI on his forehead. He climbs the outside of her house directly up to her window, but before he can get inside, the vampire pulls him off. They tumble to the ground below, Alexia sure the waxen man must be dead as he isn't supernatural, but he gets up and fights off the vampire holding him by breaking his wrists. Policemen arrive soon and the waxen man, with an eerie smile at Alexia, runs off.
The next day, Alexia is woken by her mother who is upset about Alexia having a guest waiting on her in the parlor. A guest who ate three chickens! Alexia dresses and goes to meet Lord Maccon and learns the reason he left so abruptly the day before. Someone broke into the BUR offices and stole her file. Someone knows she is soulless. Alexia questions him about the waxen man and he says he must be some sort of medical experiment gone wrong, knowing this because he bit him the night of the first attack and that he is filled with blood but not a vampire or a werewolf. Alexia moves past this and alerts Connal to the fact that she knows about the Bitch’s Dance and asks if she should pursue him. There's talk of a relationship that will last a long long time ending with an embrace.
And that is when Alexia's mother enters the room. She screams and blusters and causes a scene and everyone comes rushing into the room. She demands that Lord Maccon marry her daughter but Alexia insists she will not marry him by force, even though he actually wants to. She thinks he's doing it just to do the right thing. Her sisters basically say that she's ugly and old, so why would he want to marry her? Alexia leaves the room and has a good cry while Lord Maccon puts her family members in their place for making Alexia feel so badly about herself.
Later, at Lord Akeldama’s home, he and Alexia discuss what has happened since they last saw each other, including but not limited to the evening with Countess Nadasdy and the multiple events with Lord Maccon, ending with the fact that he wants to marry her, probably out of pity. They stop their discussion after several of his drones, led by the very best one, Biffy, let him know they're going out for the full moon evening. Shortly thereafter, the waxen man arrives, dumping something that smells like turpentine all around. Alexia prepares her parasol and Lord Akeldama brandishes a double-edged weapon, wood and silver tipped. Alexia touches the waxen man by the VIXI on his forehead, but no soul-sucking happens. She succumbs to the fumes and passes out, and is carried off by the waxen man. Meanwhile, elsewhere, Connal is being led down into his safe room to change for the full moon. As he does, he scents something familiar. Alexia?
Alexia and Lord Akeldama wake in a sort of dungeon. Well, Lord Akeldama has been awake the whole time but pretending to sleep to see if he could learn anything useful, but he could not, only that whoever took them, some sort of club that seems to be obsessed with octopuses, wants him in particular. Alexia knows they want her, too, but that they are unaware that they have her as her files from BUR don't contain her picture. The waxen man knows though and will surely alert his masters. Lord Akeldama assures her it will do no such thing as it is a homunculus, a personlike creature, an automaton, and is unable to speak. It seems that this club is creating people to turn into vampires and werewolves, but their experiments aren't working. They are delighted to have finally acquired Lord Akeldama though and then they take him away.
Alexia is alone for some time but then she hears voices approaching and recognizes one of them. The American Scientist. He and the driver from the cab the night of the first attack are members of this club that is obsessed with the octopus. They are also obsessed with learning about the change from human to werewolf and vampire and are kidnapping lone wolves and roves to experiment on them. Mr. MacDougall, the American Scientist, is upset that they are holding a woman captive, and then he calls her by name, making the other man realize they have accidentally captured their prize! They can study Alexia to see what it takes for her to stop the change. They plan to begin this experimentation by throwing her in a cell with a werewolf. She tells them that the change she imparts on supernaturals takes about an hour even though it is in fact instantaneous. They open the cell and put her inside.
The werewolf attacks. Alexia dodges. The werewolf attacks again and she wraps herself around the wolf’s body until he shifts back into a man. A man who just so happens to be Lord Connal Maccon. He explains that he and his entire pack were chloroformed and brought here, wherever here is. Alexia explains that they are at the Hypocras Club and what all they're doing and why she is in this cell with him and that they need to rescue Lord Akeldama. Their conversation turns from the scientific to the romantic and flirtatious and leads to curious naked touchings. They eventually calm themselves and plan to do many more things when they are properly wed, but Alexia questions that again. Oh come now. Unfortunately the cell opens then.
Mr. Siemons and several other scientists enter the cell, pleased to see their captured wolf back in human form, until that is, he attacks. Unfortunately, Siemons calls for the automaton and he comes into the room and carries Alexia away. She leaves a trail of her own blood for Connal to follow. She is taken to the exsanguination chamber where she sees her dear Lord Akeldama pinned to a table with wooden stakes, his blood being transferred to another person, both being electrically shocked. They plan to start on her next, but Mr. MacDougall puts up a small amount of fight on her behalf. Luckily Connal shows up then and begins to eat everyone. Alexia eventually stops him and turns him back into his human form, but then, the automaton attacks again. Lord Akeldama, still somewhat alive thank goodness, tells Alexia to wipe the VIXI off his forehead. She manages to wipe some of it away and it stops attacking, but then it attacks again more slowly.
Though the automaton has slowed down, it's still strong and Alexia struggles to fight it off, not wanting to let go of Connall, but wondering if she might need to. Lucky Lord Akeldama approaches with a handkerchief and wipes the entirety of the word off the automaton’s forehead and it collapses into a puddle and pile of metal at their feet. Apparently VIXI means to be alive in Latin and VIX means with difficulty, so it was still following its orders, just not well. Erasing the entire word took care of it though. Soon Lord Akeldama’s drones, again led by the very best one, Biffy, arrive with Mr. Siemons tied up. They help Connal gather up the necessary BUR agents to tidy up all the events and get Lord Akeldama the blood he needs to get back to his usual self. They send one drone off to gather the Potentate, the lead vampire in relation to the Queen, and will get word to the Dewan, the lead werewolf, after sunrise. Alexia falls asleep and misses most of the boring conversations that follow.
She wakes up, carried by Professor Lyall, at her house to her mother's shrieks. She almost slaps Alexia for being out all night, unmarried, with Lord Maccon, even if he is an earl. Professor Lyall stops her and sets Alexia down, Floote immediately there helping keep her upright. Then someone knocks at the door. Mrs. Loontwill screams that they are not home, but oh yes they are. Queen Victoria has arrived to see Alexia. She tells Alexia she has been following her since she was born as there are so few preternaturals living in Britain. The Queen insists that Alexia marry Lord Maccon, which she was going to do anyway, because he does not need to be distracted and because she needs Alexia to be in high social standing. She invites Alexia to join the Shadow Council with the Potentate and the Dewan as a special third agent, one that has been vacant for a long time, the Muhjah, who will help settle disagreements between the Potentate and the Dewan. The Muhjah will be able to travel easily and will be able to investigate things that vampires and werewolves cannot. She accepts.
When the Queen leaves, Alexia's mother wakes and begins questioning everything, but Alexia stops her shouting by declaring that she is going to marry Lord Maccon. Alexia's sisters enter then and begin planning things. Alexia's name, and Lord Akeldama’s, were left out of the news of the downfall of the Hypocras Club, but many scientists were discovered to be involved and now find themselves to be without funding. Mr. MacDougall, the American Scientist, made his way back to America, and he took with him Alexia's parasol, which she greatly misses. Her darling husband-to-be declares he will make her one to match every dress.
Soon it is time for the wedding, and nearly everyone is in attendance, including the Queen, though many vampires are not. Lord Akeldama is there and all of his drones and many werewolves of varying packs. Countess Nadasdy is not there but has sent a gift for Alexia, her maid, Angelique. Obviously Angelique is meant to be a spy, but oh well. Floote will move with Alexia to her new home in Woolsey Castle, which upsets her mother probably more than marrying off her daughter does. Ivy finds a new beau from the Woolsey Pack, a red-headed claviger named Tunstell. All in all, the wedding is perfect. It concludes with all the werewolves turning and circling the new couple, bowing and showing their necks to Alexia in submission to their new alpha female. After all this, Lord and Lady Maccon enjoy a very bumpy and very sexy and very naked ride to their castle.
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