This Body's Not Big Enough for Both of Us by Edgar Cantero
[in the style of a Noir Detective] It’s a blazing hot summer in August when the hourglass silhouette of a femme fatale is cast up the glass of A. Kimrean, Z. Kimrean, Private Eyes. She knocks, waits a moment before she enters in a flurry of long skirts, flaming red hair, and wide eyes framed by freckles…
Demoines interjects telling the Kimrean to dial down the overly colorful language.
[in the style of a Noir Detective] The femme fatale takes in her surroundings, someone is in the bathroom but she can’t see who. When they enter, they’re featureless, like a mannequin. An implausibly accurate stripe of daylight reveals their green eye watching her. They try to talk sexy to her. With fluid movements, they’re across the room and another implausibly accurate stripe of daylight reveals their other eye is orange brown.
Demoines interjects again requesting Kimrean stop recounting sexy scenarios, and make with the shooting already!
[in the style of a Noir Detective] Okay… blah blah blah… blazing hot August… blah blah blah… gunpowder and brick dust… blah blah blah… Green Teeth Murdoc fires his gun as Kimrean manages to slide away to safety behind the bed and catches their breath while thinking of a plan. Green Teeth Murdoc shouts where’s my fucking money…
Demoines stops Kimrean once more, requesting they’re taken back five minutes; that’s exactly where Kimrean started from!
[in the style of a Noir Detective] The femme fatale sits on the bed indicated by the P.I., she notes there is a gun. The P.I. deduces in Sherlockian style the femme needs a detective because she is being stalked; correct. Whilst making breakfast of blueberry Pop-Tarts in a toaster, the femme explains why she thinks she is being stalked. When her story is done, the P.I. gives her his fee demands and she hands over the retainer in cash. In another display of Sherlockian deduction, the P.I. calls her by her name, Fiona Hearsh. Throughout their conversation, the femme can’t get a fix on the P.I. Their voice changes, almost talking to themselves and they’re figure is androgynous: bony, lipless, flat, but are those breasts under their tank top? When the P.I. turn salacious, the femme leaves. Once gone, Kimrean calls out all clear and Green Teeth Murdoc steps out of the shadows. With a snarky remark, Kimrean slams the door in Murdoc’s face and hides in the bathroom, but Murdoc kicks his way inside and opens fire. The door opens and a two hundred pound man with a butt plug stuffed in his mouth collapses to the ground, three bullets in his chest.
Demoines halts Kimrean’s narration again. What the hell?! Kimrean says it’s from a previous batch. Obviously.
[in the style of a Noir Detective] Okay… blah blah blah… blazing hot August… blah blah blah… two neckless thugs, Rock and Gravel, sent by Mr. Murdoc enter A. Kimrean, Z. Kimrean, Private Eyes. The P.I. is there. They’ve come to collect money that Mr. Murdoc feels was cheated from him. Kimrean is searching for their gun but only finds a butt plug left by a pretty ladyboy. When Kimrean goes into the bathroom to rinse it off, Rock gets inpatient and a fight ensues, resulting in the butt plug in the mouth. Gravel enters the fray and it turns into a farce as he slips and falls. With one unconscious reckless thug and the other choking on a butt plug, the femme fatale enters the story.
Demoines stops the story again checking with Kimrean that what we just had was a flashback. Yup. Right, skip ahead please.
[in the style of a Noir Detective] Right, blah blah blah… blazing hot August… blah blah blah… femme fatale… Green Tooth Murdoc and his guns… as the unconscious thug comes to, Kimreans burst into the bathroom followed by a hail of gunfire. Another fight breaks out in the bathroom with Gravel, but the neckless thug is hit by friendly fire. Kimreans assess their escape routes. Dashing from the bathroom, they hide behind the bed, Gravel tries to pursue but Kimrean has their gun and takes him out. Thankfully the toasting blueberry Pop Tarts distract Murdoc enough for Kimrean to shoot him in the shoulder, handcuff him and start to choke him with the toaster cord. Rock joins in, sans mouth-butt plug but with Murdoc’s Uzi. Murdoc claims Kimrean cheated at cards, Kimrean explains the hands played and shows Murdoc the card they did have secreted but never needed to use; they then fling it at Murdoc right in the cornea.
Another interruption by Demoines. Demoines asks Kimrean if they knew this was going to happen? Kimrean admits not, at least they didn’t plan it, possibly the other one did.
[in the style of a Noir Detective] The toaster flails, the cord catching the ceiling fan and strangling Murdoc, the lit match from a cigarette Kimrean was passing Murdoc during the explanation, falls to the floor seething spilled bourbon aflame, Rock is hit by a hail of gunfire the dying Murdoc lets loose from his precious Uzi as he’s being choked. Kimrean rides Gravel, who was propped against the bathroom window, down three stories as the flames find the propane tank in the kitchenette. They land on top of a police car. Kimrean rolls off and under a stationary cable car next to it, laughing maniacally.
[INSERT TITLE SCREEN FOR ADRIAN KIMREAN AND ZOOEY KIMREAN IN THIS BODY’S NOT BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF US]
In the San Francisco police headquarters, Lieutenant Greggs manages to do the near impossible, get Police Deputy Chief Llewelyn Carlyle out of his office to meet the wonder duo that is Kimrean. Kimrean is with Detective Demoines from Narcotic and Vice Division getting their statement. Together Greggs and Demoines explain that Kimrean is both brother and sister Adrian Kimrean and Zooey Kimrean. As far as they can tell, Adrian holds the left brain hemisphere and has an IQ over one eighty, a photographic memory, encyclopedic knowledge of everything… Zooey is the right side, she paints, writes, plays several instruments, is hyperactive, a nymphomaniac, and is addicted to every substance she’s tried once. Together they're an amazing P.I.. Carlyle, however, finds Kimrean off putting with their marionette-like movements and opposes Greggs’ and Demoines’ insistence that Kimrean is the best person for the job. Carlyle only agrees to Kimrean’s assistance when undercover cop Danny Mojave calls and insists he wants them.
Inside Carlyle’s office, Greggs and Demoines explain the situation to Kimrean while Carlyle stays silent. Mojave has not only infiltrated the San Carnal drug cartel, but he’s made it so high up he’s practically the right hand man of Victor Lyon and was assigned to look after Lyon’s youngest son Mikey who has turned up dead, beaten and shot in Lyon’s estate. The police need to confirm it was the Japanese yakuza, the Red Chrysanthemum Clan, but before they can, Lyon is declaring war. It’s a mess. For over two years, twelve counties and five state agencies have worked together to bring down the bosses, not just arrest the goons. So before a gang war breaks out, Mojave needs help persuading Lyon his son wasn’t killed by the yakuza which is where Kimrean comes in. Zooey is less than interested in helping, but Adrian manages to take control long enough to put his wrists together and tell the police to cuff them.
Zooey realizes they are on the way to meet Danny in the car on the Bayshore Highway on-ramp after being distracted by first a Rubik’s Cube then Demoines’ PlayStation Portable. Zooey then serenades Greggs and Demoines with salty tunes and stories of their sabbatical at Claymore Psychiatric Hospital. Eventually they arrive at a diner in a dust bowl in the middle of nowhere and the handcuffs finally come off. Demoines and Greggs leave Kimrean at the diner to eat and make small talk to the nervous-looking waitress who is covering for Cecilia who was shot in the boob during a gang-related incident. Danny turns up while they are enjoying a slice of pie.
In the car on the way to San Carnal, it turns out Danny is in a whole heap of shit. Danny explains the cartel's family dynamics and that dead Mikey was very likely killed by the yakuza because a red chrysanthemum was found on his body in the pool house, but Kimrean can’t even think of the word “Japan” around Lyon. Despite all the cameras, guard dogs, and security, someone got on to the estate while Danny took a cigarette break around midnight. The hit was in retribution for an incident at the diner they’d just left, it’s sort of neutral ground and should have been a straight forward exchange, but the yakuza don’t speak good English and dead Mikey was an ignorant fuck high off his tits who opened fire. They caused first blood against the yakuza, and shot one of the waitresses, so gangland law stands. Danny needs Kimrean to help run interference and pull suspicion away from the yakuza.
Kimrean and Danny reach Villa Leona and, exciting Zooey, see a swimming pool full of Nubian nymphs like Biff's 1985 penthouse. Danny, with effort, gets them to focus. Danny wants to introduce Adrian to Lyon, pretending Zooey isn’t there, but unfortunately, Lyon assumes Kimrean is a she and addresses them as if they’re female meaning Zooey has to take front and center. Reluctantly the crime boss accepts that Kimrean is a P.I. here to assess the murder though still insists it’s the Mums who killed his son. Danny leads Kimrean to the pool house.
Straight away, Adrian tells Danny it wasn’t the Japanese and the room is bugged, a lot, probably by one of the twelve counties and five state agencies. Well, shit. Kimrean goes on to say the flower found on Mikey wasn’t a mum but a rare South American rose which, in flower language, means greetings from the south. On that bombshell, Kimrean leaves Danny and Lyon to talk. With their Detective Kit™ in hand, Adrian goes to investigate around the pool house and encounters a small girl with a British accent who asks a lot of questions because she’s bored. This is eleven year old Ursula Lyon, Lyon’s daughter from his current marriage.
Zooey takes charge of the conversation while Adrian continues to look around and they banter until Danny arrives. Adrian tells Danny that by the footprints he’s found, the killer is around 5’8”, Ursula smokes pot, the killer is likely female or an Asian male, and the Mexican flower thing was a ploy. Danny now knows who is stealing his cigarettes, but nothing else. Kimrean heads to Danny’s car ready to leave as Danny goes to talk to Lyon. Meanwhile Ursula has stood there the entire time and wants to go into town, or have someone’s attention or company, but cartel bosses have got to crime.
Ursula is resourceful if nothing else and hides in Danny’s car hoping to catch a lift into town so she can amuse herself for a few hours. Kimrean spots her straight away. When Danny arrives, he starts ranting and lets slip the whole plot in one sentence including that he’s an undercover cop. Well shit, Ursula shouldn’t have heard that. Ursula is a smart kid and starts negotiations for her silence. Time to head to the mall!
Kimrean, Danny and Ursula head to the plastic luxury and dialed up to extra San Carnal mall and go eat at Taco Bell. Ursula is very aware her father is a very bad man. It’s difficult not to notice all the gangster activity, and it’s also difficult to call the cops on your parents, especially when you don’t know what’s going to happen to you. After Taco Bell, they go shopping, but Ursula and Zooey are the only ones having fun. Danny has to head back to Fort Narc but Ursula blackmails again, she might not be able to keep quiet… but she is smart and knows she can only push so far, so she asks to stay with Zooey instead of returning. Kimrean protests because they need to head back to San Francisco. Great! Ursula can come! She has books to buy and she can return by train later. Reluctantly, and insisting that Adrian drives, Danny hands over his car keys.
The drive is fine if you ignore the excited chatter of an eleven year old and the hairy moment when Zooey takes the wheel and they head to City Lights Bookstore. They have a lovely time until Greggs arrives and it takes a little while before she spots the crime boss's daughter sitting crossed legged and surrounded by books. Greggs confirms the bug they found was FBI and of course they’re not sharing anything. Some signs are still pointing to the yakuza killing Mikey, but at the same time there are signs they didn’t. Time to do some forensics!
Kimrean and Ursula head to a place outside Oakland that looks like an abandoned lumber mill to see a lady called Gwen. Kimrean calls her mom, but really she’s the doctor who first diagnosed them and recognized them as two separate people in one body. While Kimrean uses Gwen’s lab, Gwen gives a bit of history and context about Kimrean which helps Ursula and the readers better understand the awesomeness that is Adrian and Zooey Kimrean. After Adrian finishes performing science, they find out the sample they collected from the pool house scene is dead mold, sprayed with fungicide or floor disinfectant as it was in one of the footprints around the property. Another round of science on a sample locates a commercial grade disinfectant. Interesting. Anywho, before leaving to take Ursula to the train station, Kimrean asks Gwen for some of the psychoactive drugs that will put Zooey to sleep so Adrian has more room. When they eventually get back to their ruined quarters, the phone rings, it’s Danny. Frankie, Lyon’s middle son has been murdered, like just now and has a red flower on his chest. The cops haven’t even been called yet. Adrian tells Danny not to touch anything, the scene is theirs and runs out the hole where the door used to be.
Frank Lyon was killed in his office above one of the clubs he owned, Luxuria. Danny made sure to keep the crime scene clear for Kimrean’s arrival which included a couple of dead bodyguards. Kimrean goes Sherlockian again inspecting the scene, finding a bullet hole for a 9mm Parabellum, a small amount of blood splatter likely belonging to the killer as one of the dead bodyguards came rushing in shooting, deducing there was a small scuffle before a point-blank shot to the head for Frankie. If the alarm was raised within two minutes of all this happening, the killer couldn’t have exited the same way they came in. Xander Lyon enters the story then, the eldest and last living Lyon son.
Xander wants to know who the hell the clown is, obviously meaning Kimrean, so Danny explains while Kimrean keeps examining. They conclude that the killer hid on the roof access stairs while all the guards rushed up then strolled down when they’d gone into the office out of sight. They head down to the club, which is Zooey’s hedonistic dream, as the killer would have hid there until the coast was clear. Kimrean heads to the most likely spot they’d go, the restrooms, but not before stealing an eyepatch to keep Zooey under control from all her ogling. This doesn’t account for Zooey’s hand which starts braille-reading the human landscape. Of course a bar fight starts from Zooey’s antics and Adrian’s complete lack of diplomacy.
The bar fight lasted a good couple of hours before San Carnal police could break it up. Kimrean, a little worse for wear, is watching the aftermath sitting on a curb and is joined by Danny. Moving on from Kimrean’s salaciously inappropriate comments about Xander’s mother's photo seen in his wallet, we find out Xander is now acting commander in chief, all the lieutenants are on DEFCON One, and moves are being made against the Red Mums in L.A. oh, and Danny is Xander’s new head of security. Kimrean tells Danny that moving against the Japanese is a bad idea, there’s no proof the flower found is a Canadian rose, though there are a few breeders in California. They need to hear what the wiretap picked up, but for now, everything is speculation.
Kimrean borrows Danny’s car again and heads to the FBI “secret location” in San Carmel Golden Star Painting Co.’s headquarters. After some quips, the agents play the recording, each time Kimrean narrates what is happening. There is a particularly interesting point where Mikey says “you,” but it could be the name “Yu” indicating someone from the yakuza or, which seems more likely, it’s a “you” of familiarity, meaning Mikey knew his killer. Kimrean also spots that the killer is a heavy breather, they sound panicked and the shots aren’t in quick succession, not the signs of a trained assassin.
Kimrean returns back to their office. Adrian and Zooey are playing, and arguing about, chess when the redhead femme fatale returns. Adrian tells her the maid is her stalker while Zooey is hitting on her hard. The redhead writes Kimrean a check for what is owed and leaves Adrian who, sick of Zooey, uses the syringe from Gwen to quieten her. The real femme fatale of the story returns now, Ursula Lyon. She’s worried someone is trying to kill her, two of her half-brothers are already dead. Adrian tells Ursula to go back home, whoever is killing Lyon’s children is after his sons. Ursula points out he can’t be sure that’s true, and besides, no one at Villa Leona notices or cares about her, never mind her safety, only Zooey has shown compassion and she wants to speak to Zooey now. Too bad Adrian suppressed Zooey. Eventually Adrian relents and lets Ursula stay. She asks to snuggle with Zooey for comfort and schools Kimrean for automatically assuming and sexualizing that interaction, then calls Adrian jealous as well as an asshole. Adrian sits on the bed while Ursula falls asleep but later writes her a check to stay at a hotel. Ursula further schools Adrian by telling him that Zooey must love him even though he seems incapable of love himself. A bolt of lightning hits Kimrean, thankfully not literally as it is storming, and he calls Danny telling him that Xander may not be the target.
Danny meets Adrian in a coffee shop facing Xander’s luxury hotel where he lives in the penthouse. Danny explains the additional security measures for the funeral which Adrian points out is pointless as Xander is the killer. He wants to take over Daddy’s whole empire and not split it with his siblings, and he’s banging his stepmom - that’s whose picture Zooey was salivating over in his wallet. Xander saw the opportunity after Frankie’s fuck up at the diner with the yakuza to start the gangwar and hostile takeover. Xander knows the security, knows the guards and guard dogs, he has free reign to sneak or be blatantly obvious getting to his brothers. The brutal beatings they both took before being killed is definitely the passion of one sibling's resentment of the other. As for the not-red mum left on Frankie and the disinfectant in the footprints he found, Xander went to visit his henchman in the hospital before committing murder and picked the flower from the hospital florist, hospitals don’t sell chrysanthemums because of their meaning. Well, damn. Zooey wakes up just as they plan to inspect the currently-taking-a-shower Xander for the tell-tale flesh wound from his fight with Frankie.
Danny makes to head up to the penthouse alone since Zooey is awake and can’t be trusted with mostly naked and wet studmuffins. Kimrean stands around the hotel reception surrounded by condolence flowers when they spot a red not-chrysanthemum in an arrangement of purple lilies. Grabbing the flowers, Kimrean rushes to Danny in the elevator and together they go to the penthouse where they find a mostly naked and glistening Xander with no tell-tale wounds. Kimrean does notice Xander’s toes and then drops two bombshells: the killer is in the hotel, and Xander is Ursula’s father.
Kimrean makes a quick scan of the penthouse suite and balcony, noticing the balcony room five floors down is open. Leaving Danny in the penthouse with Xander, Kimrean heads down a few floors. Everything in the hotel room looks perfectly normal and freshly cleaned. At this point Zooey realizes Adrian picked up a gun on their way down, gets excited and fires it into the ceiling causing the ninja under the bed to jump out. It’s fight time! Meanwhile, the penthouse is under attack by a killer in a balaclava. Xander takes two rounds to the chest and one of the guards explosively loses his frontal lobe before Danny starts wrestling with the killer. Unfortunately, the killer has brought a grappling hook to the party and wraps it around Danny’s throat.
A few floors down, Kimrean and the ninja are still fighting, though one has upgraded their weapon to a katana and the other a rolled-up magazine. As they fight, Zooey notices rain on their fallen hat, and Kimrean realizes that somebody must have been hiding on the awning over the terrace. Distracting the ninja with beer from the mini-fridge, Kimrean rushes back to the penthouse where Danny is fighting to keep the grappling hook rope from choking him. The killer pockets Xander’s car keys and goes to leave only to encounter Kimrean at the door.
Zooey notices the killer’s beautiful cyan eyes while Adrian catalogues their dark skin and dark hair. Meanwhile, the ninja a few floors below grabs the end of the grappling hook and starts pulling, nearly decapitating Danny, and Kimreans make the choice to help him. They throw things down at the ninja who fires up at them while Danny, still choking, looks more and more like Arnold Schwarzenegger helmetless on the surface of Mars. Kimrean spots a gun on the lower balcony and, using a magnifying glass from their Detective Kit™ and a piece of glass, heats the Beretta until it explodes, completely missing the ninja. Fine. Kimrean decides to throw the big screen TV at them, knocking them from the balcony and to the street below. Danny is saved just before losing his head. The ninja was Yu Osoisubame, the Phantom Ninja, so it looks like the yakuza have declared war, but who is the killer with beautiful eyes?
Back in Deputy Chief Carlyle’s office a rare thing happens: Kimrean admits he doesn’t know who is responsible for bringing down the San Carnal cartel but tells the police to just bring in Lyon, charge him with what they can and throw him in jail. Lyon has nothing to lose and will want their protection. After Kimrean storms out, Carlyle gives the orders to inform twelve counties and five state agencies they’re wrapping things up first thing tomorrow.
Back in their office, Kimrean is playing chess. Adrian is not wholly paying attention, trying to work out who is the actual killer. Zooey upgrades her pawn to a knight, which Adrian calls nonsensical because everyone always upgrades to a queen, Zooey points out that it’s not what the piece wants and then she wins the game. Adrian realizes who is being nonsensical, like his sister playing chess, and only wants to hurt Lyon. Zooey says they should warn Ursula and then realizes she has access to memories of Ursula being in the office, and of Adrian being an asshole and sending her away. Zooey tells him she doesn’t love him, she hates him, and shoves Adrian’s hand into the toaster as he’s heating pop tarts. They fight and Adrian manages to get to Gwen’s syringes. He stabs Zooey’s shoulder repeatedly and with multiple syringes until Kimrean fades to black.
Zooey wakes up, takes a few moments to celebrate having their body all to herself because Adrian could never do drugs properly before the reality of solving a crime hits her and she runs to the hotel to get Ursula. Ursula isn’t happy to see Zooey, she doesn’t want to be the useless femme fatale, the girl waiting for someone to save her. Zooey tells her to forget all that nonsense and to be whoever she wants to be. They have a killer to catch, an illogical right-thinking killer and Zooey, the right-brained, creative, hyperactive, nymphomaniac detective is like 99.99999% close to solving this case, so let’s go! Ursula runs with Zooey to the car. Shit! Zooey is driving.
Zooey and Ursula reach the diner in the desert in one piece but Zooey may have psychologically and emotionally destroyed a biker gang along the way. Zooey asks where Cecilia, the waitress shot at the Lyon/Red Mum meeting is and is told she’s still in the hospital, recovering from her boob shooting, taken by her girlfriend Juno in her van. A flower delivery van! Nearly giving Ursula whiplash, Zooey drags her back to the car and they head to San Carnal Medical Center. Cecilia left only an hour ago with Juno who the staff thought of as a VERY clingy partner. Juno never left Cecilia’s side except at three points which just so happened to be when the Lyon brothers were murdered. Inside the hospital room are roses. Words can not describe the amount of roses, just… so, so, so many. Cecilia is the left-brain to Juno’s right-brain, the murders aren’t for power, they are personal, Juno is taking down the San Carnal cartel one child at a time before she takes the head, Victor. Zooey is beyond excited she’s solved the case, she did, not Adrian. As she and Ursula start to head to Villa Leona, Ursula points out Zooey is probably taking her to her death. Well, shit, that kind of logical thinking is Adrian’s forte.
Zooey crashes through the grounds of Villa Leona, tells Ursula to stay in the car and not become a cliche, and brings Danny up to speed about the rip roaring rampage of revenge in the name of lesbian love. She also tells Danny to move Lyon from the main house to the pool house because Juno now has a tank of a car thanks to Xander, and look who is coming over the horizon. Right now. Danny rushes off and Zooey watches the carnage including the Russian Rocket launcher and wave of goons taken out by a petite native Alaskan with beautiful eyes. Zooey tries to compliment Juno, but Juno is single minded in her revenge and knocks Zooey down.
In the pool house, Danny watches Juno crash through the wall in Xander’s tank of a car. She pops out of the car and there is a standoff. Lyon demands to know who the hell Juno is and why the hell she is going on a rip roaring rampage of revenge. Juno explains, and while doing so, Zooey enters. She tells Juno that Lyon is going to be arrested but Danny is a nice guy as he’s a cop. This knowledge pisses Lyon off and Danny gets ready to be killed. Everything goes quiet but the silence is broken when Juno shoots Lyon to hurt not kill, and shoots Danny in the leg. While Zooey tells the FBI who have the room bugged to stop having sex and get over there, Juno takes Danny as insurance. As the pool house empties, Lyon tries to shoot himself, but Zooey left him with an empty gun.
Zooey in Danny’s car and with Ursula in the backseat, chases after Juno and Danny. She gets Ursula to call Danny and over speaker phone tells Juno she missed one of Lyon’s offspring, well technically Ursula is Xander’s but regardless she is a full blown Lyon. This is news to both Juno and Ursula. Zooey then offers to trade hostages. Juno agrees. Rather than getting out they play chicken and no one comes out unscathed. Juno, very much worse for wear, opens the backseat of Danny's car to find Ursula. Juno turns and leaves on foot to the diner.
Adrian wakes up in the hospital, bandaged and hooked up to machines. Inside their head, he asks Zooey? She’s still there… someone has to kick his ass at chess. Danny comes hobbling into Kimrean’s room and they are glad to see each other. A little while later Gwen comes in wearing her lab coat. Ursula is fine, she’s been discharged, Victor Lyon is singing like a canary and there are promotions all around. Juno and Cecila have disappeared, it looks like they stole a car and are headed to Mexico. There are questions about Kimrean’s involvement, helping Juno escape, reckless endangerment of a minor, and their expired P.I. license, with the higher ups calling for Kimrean to enter psychological evaluation. Kimrean does not want this, they only got out a week ago and it’s only been a mildly bumpy week! Kimrean tries to stand to leave, but they collapse.
Two days later after lots of tests, Gwen concludes that something in their brain isn’t talking to their right leg to be able to walk. The right leg is Adrian’s. Zooey whispers I’m sorry and that's all they say for days. Ursula comes to visit but Adrian throws her out and makes her cry, refusing to let her speak to Zooey. She’s in foster care now on account of all the murder and gang activity. A bouquet of flowers is delivered after Adrian is finished being a jackass, a dozen red roses. The card reads to Z.K. with the message Well played and a picture of Juno with a red-head in Mexico. Zooey wiggles the toes on their right leg as they read. Adrian is astounded because he can’t do it. It looks like Adrian isn’t in control of that leg anymore. Apparently he gave himself brain damage when he tried to overdose Zooey. Zooey promises to take care of the leg like it is her own.
On crutches, Kimrean makes a break for freedom, disconnecting the equipment on another patient to distract the medical staff enough for them to limp into the women’s bathroom. As they’re climbing out the window, Ursula comes out of a stall. She begs to go with them, she doesn’t want to go into foster care and wants them to keep their promise to take care of her. Zooey says this is taking care of her, that Ursula isn’t subject to some male writer's bullshit. They will be in each other's lives again. Ursula cries, but seems to understand. She distracts Zooey so she can apologize to Adrian and then gives them a hug. With their goodbyes-for-now given, Kimrean escapes the hospital, grabs a disguise waist up from an ambulance and climbs into the driver's seat. A paramedic climbs into the passenger seat and tells them they have a motorcycle crash they have to get to. Kimrean floors the gas.
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